Friday, August 08, 2008

What do women want ? Husbands, babies and cushions.

Well that's the impression you are left with after reading what I assume is meant to be some witty battle of the sexes type banter over at The Times.

If you are feeling a bit bored pop over and see how many stereotypes you can find.

Tad and Molly are debating whether women should live with a man if she wants him to get down on one knee and propose (this is assuming heterosexuality here of course).

Molly thinks a woman should hold out for a proposal before rushing to move in:

My view is that until a man proposes he is still at some level deciding whether his girlfriend is The One. Until he decides, the downside of moving in together is too big to risk it. You know what they say about buying cows when you get milk for free...

Yep, that oldie, sex as a bargaining tool used by women.

Tad responds a bit later:

it's a big deal if a man asks a woman to move in. If we do it, it's because we want you there and probably want to marry you. The prize is there for the taking.

This article is pretty insulting for straight men and women.

Men are portrayed as seeing living together as a way to get 'free' sex. Tad disputes that , but its not much better. Seems if a man lives with you then feel honoured that you may get the 'prize' of being his wife.

Women are manipulative,with a 'ticking body clock', looking at the best way to trap her man and get that sparkler on her finger.

So yet again the stereotype of women not really being that into sex , using it to get what they want which is of course full blown domesticity. Oh and chuck in the tired cliche's about cushions and toilet seats . Surely 'Bridget Jones' is just so last century ?

Where to start with all this?

Well relationships can take all sorts of forms and not all are the heterosexual, married 2.4 kids variety. Some men really really want kids, some women have no interest in then whatsoever.

Some men want to marry, some women want to have open relationships or have a number of partners perhaps even with other women !

People do not have to live together to be partners.

Some women even quite like sex and don't see it as a way of trapping men and then feigning headaches for the rest of their not so wedded bliss.

Surely we can move on from the stereotype of the woman desperate to ensnare their 'prize' of a man .

Sex and relationships are a lot more complex, and potentially fun, than that .

Oh and Tad and Molly, try to be a bit more imaginative next time.