Oh come... all ye faithless this Xmas

Tis the season of lowering the tone but at Stroppyblog we don't need an excuse....

As I was in Brighton last week I passed the sex shop Tickled where I stuck my nose against the window and gazed at the paraphernalia. Unfortunately, I had a train to catch so didn't have time to check out the stock. Yeah, ok, I did kinda weigh up the options i.e. "train" or "sex shop", "sex shop" or "train". Train won but with the amount of time I had to wait at East Croydon I may as well have paid a visit. I bought a "little something" at their stall at Brighton Pride (Sh also had a stall..) but when I asked what they would recommend they were a tad shy. What? Don't they try out the goods? They coulda at least mentioned they don't include the AA batteries......

Anyway, the top selling sex toys according to "gone a bit racy" Ann Summers this Xmas include different types of Rampant Rabbits (a bit pricey too) but hey, they have various speeds for pulse and stimulation! There are disposeable cock rings aka The Joyrider (£15 for a 3 pack), and who needs batteries when you have the rechargeable ergonomic Sinnflut but at £80..... but it's Xmas and c'mon, you deserve that extra special gift and you save soooo much by not having to buy batteries. But the piece d'resistance is The Cone. Why, you can use it any time, any place and anywhere and it gives a whole new meaning to"Hey look, no hands"! The downside: 3 C batteries required. The plus side: Orgasm on tap.

To all our women readers (and chaps) who needs Trotskyist chat-up lines when you have sex toys. For starters, they don't quote the line......

Seek out your inner rabbit this Xmas. And remember.....a rabbit isn't just for Xmas either.