Tuesday, May 12, 2009

"Just Be Grateful You Have A Job"

In an attempt to convince workers to put up with the sh*t that's thrown at us and to accept paying the price of a recession we didn't create, the employers' class, their tame political mouthpieces, and their little lieutenant managers keep reciting the mantra that you should “Just be grateful you have a job.”

Surfing the net, I found this rather tasty take on that. Hat tip to CyberCJH, who ever she or he may be.


Based on a meeting we had a work today, I’ve decided to split myself into two separate and distinctly different people. From now on, when I step through my employer’s doors, the new work-me pledges …

… to remain grateful that I have a job. I will keep this in mind as my sole motivator. Nothing else is as important is this. That’s why it’s Number 1. I don’t go to work for any sort of personal satisfaction or fulfillment. And, I certainly don’t go to work because I enjoy what I do. I go to work because I’m grateful to have a job.

… to not speak unless I’m spoken to. Nobody is interested in what I have to say and chances are whatever I had to say would be wrong anyway.

… to pretend to have no other interests, friends or even a life outside of work. Thoughts of my life outside of work serve no other purpose except to distract me from remembering that the only reason I’m here is because I’m grateful my employer gave me a job.

… to have no expectations to a learning environment. While I fully understand that I’ll probably be more eager to go to work if I feel that I will learn something new and improve myself, I’m just grateful that I have a job.

… to expect no communication from management unless I’ve done something wrong. Good employees expect to be told when they do good work. Me? I’m just grateful that I have a job.

… to have no expectations to good working conditions. Good employees expect their employer to be making constant improvements so the workplace is not only safe, but pleasant. But, I’m just grateful that I have a job.

… to not have fun. I’m not here to have fun. I’m here to work. I understand smiling is also highly discouraged as it may seem to be an indication of happiness and happy employees aren’t thinking about how grateful they should be for their jobs and if they’re not thinking about that, they’re not thinking about work and if they’re not thinking about work, why are they getting paid? I’m just grateful that I have a job.

… to remember I’m a cost to the company, not a human. I will strive to be as dedicated to the business as possible, doing more than what is expected and putting forth 110% without giving any consideration to my personal needs, thoughts or desires. My schedule is rigid and ever expanding. My clock will tell me when I’m hungry. I’m just grateful that I have a job.

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