Message from PC Plod: Women! Have a bikini wax….

“Those who are easily shocked should be shocked more often” Mae West

You know when your mum used to tell you to wear clean knickers when you go out just in case you get run over by a bus and A&E staff don’t wanna see your once white pants now gone a grey colour. … yeah? No? Oh ok, mine did. Well, the latest “good advice” comes from Her Majesty’s Finest.

The utterly surreal advice from the police in Suffolk is published in a new mag, which tells ladies to cut down on boozing, be safe (?) when they go out clubbing and even better have a bikini wax as nobody, just nobody wants to see an impersonation of a Brazilian rainforest.

Fashion editor WK Dee stipulates that women who are intent on getting “ratted” and end up falling over into the gutter perhaps, should bear in mind their knickers may show and it is important to wear nice and clean pants! Remember that ladies...put it in your diaries!

Ch Insp David McDonnell said the magazine would be useful in the fight against anti-social behaviour.

Does that mean if your knickers are a greyer shade of white you will have an ASBO slapped on you? Or even a double-whammy if you just haven’t had time for that all-important wax.

We at Stroppyblog will fight against these impositions as women have the right to wear saggy off-grey pants if they want (I do as I am lazy), wax or not to wax, club till ya drop and the booze issue annoys me. I could get all analytical about booze culture but won’t. Women have so much crap thrown at them day in and day out by society on how we should behave or not behave.

I am all for immodesty, misbehaving, degeneracy, general debauchery and showing your off-grey knickers. Most importantly, and I am sure Alexandra Kollontai would have agreed and joined in with this socialist feminist, is flipping the V sign to morality! By the way, Alex, if you get to the bar before me mines a double vodka and can you tell Clara to stop flashing her stockings? Cheers..