Sunday, April 15, 2007

My idea of fun ...

Its a beautiful sunny Saturday in Brighton. What do I do? Potter down to the beach with a good book? Sit in a pub garden or beach side cafe watching the world go by?
Nope. Traipse up to London to sit in a grotty pub in Kings Cross with sad leftie men!!
Sad, sad, sad.

It was a small select group. Tami couldn't make it as she was in the US, John A in Guernsey, others busy or not well . Or perhaps they had a life.
I potter in from the bright sunshine, push my shades back on my head and peer round looking for some sad lefties. Sitting there with their pints are Volty, Kit and Mike. Where is Denham ??
Apparently he was doing something political in Brum and was going to try to make it later. Sadly I think he was waylaid by some whiskies in a bar and never made it. As the night wore on we became quite drunk and unmanageable without our leader. More of that later.
Dave rung to ask where we were and asked if Denham was there. I had to assure him he would be there later to get him to come along.

Whilst normal people were enjoying the sun, we hit the spirits (do not give Volty rum ).
I sat there wondering why my idea of fun was sitting with these strange leftie men getting very pissed.

Mixed in with the politics was the gossip. Hmm, you think women spend their time talking about who they would or not shag and people's clothes, well let me tell you so do leftie men. Without naming names here, let me give a flavour of the drink fuelled conversations round the table.One included a vote as to , and I quote, 'who round this table would bugger ****'. We discussed how some men on the left needed to get out more , have a shower , dress better and would be less gripey if they got laid. Of course the last one was dependent on showers and getting out more. There was discussion of who set the bar for the ugliest man on the left.

There was some talk of Trotporn and Volty kissed and told about how he dressed up in blue spandex most nights. I don't think blue is his colour.

I do think the left has more than its share of weird men .
As the night wore on last trains came and went . Volty and Mike pondered the options, go and find some late bars or go back to Osler's . Much indecision, but we went for a meal to soak up the alcohol while this was further pondered. On route to the restaurant there was almost a diversion to lap dancing club. Food won out.

After the meal we all piled into a black cab back to Stokie. Now when I get in a cab at midnight I usually avoid political discussions with cabbies. I don't want to risk being chucked out or argued with all the way home . Ah but we were in a boisterous mood. We sat back in our seats, and then we heard Galloway on Talk Radio. Turn it up we shouted. That was it. The cabbie asked if we liked him. No , and we all explained why. The cabbie wanted to shoot most politicians , was anti the war but did support our 'boys'.
They are all as bad as each other said the cabbie, what can you do he asked ? At which point we explained we were in the Labour Party , fighting New labour and went on to tell the cabbie about John McDonnell. 'Drunkensadleftieweirdmen4John' was formed, we explained his polices and encouraged said cabbie to join a union. He had actually heard of John!

Back at Osler's people were still in what can only be called a boisterous mood. Tomatoes were eaten and bedsheets worn over the head. At this point the idea of the night train back to Brighton seemed appealing . Dave said it was more peaceful when his two young daughters rampaged around. As a precaution he moved his beloved guitars out of harms way.
Eventually we all passed out and peace descended on chez Osler.

Next morning everyone crawled from their pits. Volty said he should not be allowed to drink rum. He described his temples as feeling like there were two squirrels drilling into them and he was looking out through mist. Tea was drunk, shoes retrieved and off they went on their travels.

Amongst all the gossip there was a serious political development that explained the absence of Denham.It seems that he is standing down .Why you ask? It doesn't make sense with all his support. Owen himself said at the McDonnell rally that John was going to step aside for Jim. Groups were sprouting up all over the place ...Dolls4Jim. saddrunkenoldtrots4Jim, Discoqueens4Jim and beardiestudents4Jim.Alas the dream ticket of Denham and Volty is no more.
The rumour is he had to stand down as the mother of scandals was about to erupt in the media. Some say it was dirty tricks in the McDonnell camp, but lets just say think of the alleged stories about Oaten, Sheridan and then add poodles. I'll say no more...

The Christina Aguilera pic is for Volty !